Who knew these fuckers could jump? Dr. Hunt calls and says “Good news and bad news. Good news is we got all of the tumor. Along with it I harvested 53 nodes. Of those 53, 5 have cancerous tumors.” When he took out the tumor, he took out nodes surrounding it that the tumor drained into. The pathology report looked at those. With being so young and with the risk of it reoccurring they want to do chemotherapy. It’s highly recommended and will be every two weeks for 6 months. A test called Microsatellite Instability Testing, MSI, was done on the tumor and it came back showing that no gene changes point to Lynch Syndrome. So that means that there’s a good chance this isn’t genetic and maybe, just maybe, we can get these sneaky bastards with a little extra effort and not be concerned that some crazy cancer cells will decide to strike when my immunity gets low (say, during the school year surrounded by snotty students or the stress of them all going through puberty at once).
Cassidy, Dr. Hunts assistant books me the first appointment I can get. It’s with Dr. Tan, the oncologist that works closely with Dr. Hunt, at 3:45 on Tuesday the 21st. I’ll gather some more information from him on Tuesday along with a gaggle of other informed and compassionate friends and professionals and see what the next step will be.
So, to be frank, I’m uninspired today. It feels like my spirit has just flown out of my body and is taking a break somewhere away from me. Kind of scary, I normally don’t have any trouble 
being jazzed. I don’t want to be strong right now. I don’t want to have to deal with this at all. I want to go home and be in the mountains and nurse my semi-colon back to good health. I know there’s no point in asking why, so I’m not. But it doesn’t keep me from crying hot tears and moping around my mom’s yard for a better part of the day.
Finally she realizes that something just has to be done. So like any good mother would to help soften the “you still have cancer and will be dealing with it for a long time” card I just got dealt. . . We get manicures and pedicures and go out to dinner.
I’m not saying that I’ll do chemo. I’m not saying I won’t. You’re getting info fresh off the press. Information that I never thought I’d be writing about. So, I have some thinking to do. A bit of research, a lot of meditating and a dash of prayer. Thank you for all of your support and prayer and thoughts and positive energy.
Blessings and Gratitude 
Oh Suzanne! So sorry this isn’t just going away! Keep kicking it in the butt!! We know you can! You look so cute getting pampered though…Maybe you really are a diva!
My dear Suzi. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for sharing this crazy adventure you are on. It took me a while to get on the blog, and I just read the entire thing. Wow… You remind me of so many important things. I thank you for that. Your strength and eloquence are inspiring. Keep walking tall and breathing deeply.
~ Much love to you!!!!
I am sobbing with you… holy crap and all… anger can sneak in and maybe that fire will help… you know it takes a lot to get my choleric going.. I will put an ode into the basket at the Pentathlon tomorrow for Zeus and Hera to consider to help strengthen you for this new chapter…. I love you…. meg
yes! talk to zeus and hara.
Well that is clearly not the news we wanted. But since you are BA we know you are going to kick cancer’s sorry butt back to the stone age as only you can do. Because we need you around. We need you in our lives, we need you to guide Cooper through the rest of his education up to the 8th grade. We will now commence sending you a massive dose of positive vibes and prayer to get you back up and running. And I will promise to shave my head in solidarity! Come on, who’s with me??!?!
shave your head eh? somebody get out the pruning sheers, that’ll take some extra effort! 🙂
Diva? No doubt, and a really bad ass one at that. Laura texted me about your little hiccup (are you with me!) in your situation. “You are meeting so and so for a beer. Remember how that turned out last time? Capuchin bouncer attack at Humpy’s didn’t end well for Justin. By the way, Suzanne’s not done.” Ouch. Okay, center. You are going to get through this and you will be fine. I don’t really know what your choices are in this situation, but do what you have to do to rid your bod of the cells that are not with YOUR program. Just another challenge in your long and healthy life (with perhaps a small footnote thrown in there somewhere for interest). How do they say…Remain calm and chive on.
i like it 🙂
Tears of many emotions on this morning and sending a big embrace to you. My first feeling is “6 months is a grain of sand on the beach of the rest of your life.”
For now, simply just BE. No pretense for anyone else’s benefit…..but be…..letting your mind , body and soul react in whatever way is needed.
And PLEASE don’t let your mother convince you to go to the mall and get Glamour Shots done…….
ha!! 6 months is a grain of sand. . . thank you
Glamor shots!! Come on, let’s do it!
Suck ass news! now my prayers are that you get the best information possible so that you can make the best decision for you. Here’s a place to start: greenmedinfo.com. Love and light!
You must be going through so many crazy emotions, but stay strong & believe. We believe in you & know you will beat this horrible pile of crapola you were handed. Cancer is no friend to anyone, so get rid of it Suzi style! Maybe we should send you some of this fresh cleansing peaceful snow we had this morning? Will have plenty to share as we are suppose to get more by the weekend. Keep smiling that beautiful smile Suzi! We love you.
Stare it in the face & kick it in the ass Suze! TOWANDA!
I don’t have the words to respond to this, so I’ll share Claire’s haiku with you. She wrote it for Mother’s Day, but said, “I think this would be good for Ms. Drinen, too.” So I think it’s meant for both of us.
I love you a lot
You help and understand me
And your hugs are great
We send you our love and hugs.
Claire is such an amazing person!! thank you for sharing me with her.
here’s one for her:
i love you a lot
I cherish every moment
we get to spend together
“Your legs will get heavy and tired. Then comes a moment of feeling the wings you’ve grown, lifting.” Rumi
Permit yourself to go through the process of taking this all in.Then the strength for a strong new intention to see us through this next phase will come.
thank you for rumi. I’m experiencing the heavy legs and can imagine the wings.
We’re thinking of you all the time and I know we’re all ready to help when you’re ready to be with the children again. Can’t help much with the puberty thing though. We’re all in that one together…
Suzanne, I have you in my thoughts every day. Although this is not the best news, I am still so thankful that you are in good hands. Your family is there, and it sounds like your doctors are great! Sometimes there is just nothing we can do but to deal with what is sent our way. I know you will handle it, you are incredible. But, everyone has bad days. It is ok to be bummed.
“Just keep swimming” 😀